Brought to you by . . .
Crash Test Mummy’s
Guide to Everything
for the
Exhausted, the Desperate
& the Downright Distracted
. . . with thanks to contributions from the Crash Test Community
Your MIL/Mother/Gran/New friend has called to say they are in the area and will pop in to visit. They’ll be there in 20 minutes. The house is a bombsite. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you do. If the thought of this situation sends you into a mild panic, never fear. We are not all perfect little housewives. We are however, clever and resourceful.
We cheat ;)
Here’s what you do:
Hide it
- Close the doors to all the bedrooms. Lock them if you can!
- Grab a laundry basket and run around picking up all the random objects from the floor, put it on your bedroom and close the door.
- Stash dirty dishes in oven (but don’t forget they are there!)
- Bolt the door closed to the laundry. Enough said.
Disguise it
- Clear the table or desk by swiping all your paperwork into something with a lid (toy box, fruit box, nappy box). Now it will magically look like a toy box/fruit box/nappy box.
- Scatter the kids blocks and toys on the floor so it disguises other mess
- Use scented candles or a plug-in oil diffuser to mask stinky smells
Fake it
- Stack or do the dishes and put wet gloves on top so it looks like you were just doing your domestic round when your visitors arrived
- Put vacuum cleaner in hallway and say you were “just about to vacuum”
- Sweep the front step and spray lemon pledge near the door so it smells like you’ve been cleaning
Clean it
There are some areas where you just can’t cheat, so just suck it up and clean. You can guarantee that if you don’t clean the bathroom your visitors will want to use it!
- Quickly clean surfaces with handy bathroom wipes and glass wipes for the mirror.
- Scrub the loo and check the floor for any ‘puddles’ ;)
- Make sure the table is clean so you can direct visitors to the table for coffee and hopefully avoid the rest!
Do you have any more cheat tips for the exhausted, the desperate and the downright distracted among us?
Laney
What a cunning idea to scatter toys to hide mess! Kids are such a good decoy! I’m guilty of the vaccum in the hallway excuse :)
Nee’s last post..Grateful that Spring has sprung
Don’t feel guilty, think of it as being resourceful ;)
I’ve done most of those things at times!
If it’s a sunny day, set up the outdoor table & chairs to have your cuppa at (or wine!) – if you’re very lucky they may never set foot inside at all!
This is a brilliant idea Trish. Cunning, very cunning indeed ;)
Shared to facebook :D This is unfortunately me!! I try to keep the house clean.. but there’s always the mad panic when someone rings to say they’re coming! We live a little bit out of town, so very few drop-ins luckily.. we nearly always get warning.
It’s life! Children are messy. I can be cleaning, and as I go around, they are undoing all my work behind my back!
Great list. Now I just need a way to keep on top of the ongoing cleaning nightmare.
Marita’s last post..Teaching children to reduce re-use and recycle – And Fundraise!
Stay tuned Marita – I’m trying to come up with something to help us all ;)
I just love that tip about filling up the oven with dirty dishes, what a cleaver person she is…….. Tehehehe
Ha ha! Another reader admitted to hiding a dirty dinner and cutlery set in the rubbish bin – and forgot about it!!!! Was thrown out!
LOVE this post! I think I have done all these things (the laundry basket or crap with doors shut is a personal fave of mine!) I haven’t hidden the dishes in the oven or sprayed lemon around but thanks for those tips, I can see them coming in handy!!
We all do what we must ;) I hid dishes in the oven just days after reading the tip from one of my readers!
I am always paranoid about the state of our toilet (there are 5 boys using it) so I have the wipes next the toilet and always do a quick wipe as soon as I hear anyone coming down the driveway!
Martine@themodernparent’s last post..Communicating with our kids: getting more than one word answers