If children are meant to bring you great joy, then mine owe me a truckload. I am not having fun and lately there seems to be more tears than laughter.
But I don’t think it’s their fault. It’s mine. I made the decision to stay home with them and provide a loving and stable upbringing – yet it seems I am conflicted. What about my life? What about the stuff I want to do? I’ve been in an absolute tizz trying to do everything at once and it’s resulting in me not doing anything very well at all.
My blogging is going well, but it takes too much of my time just to create content, let alone really participate in other blogs. When the housework gets me down, I hide on Twitter. When the kids are doing my head in, I seek solace in Facebook.
The kids can turn the house upside down in the time it takes me to reply to an email. This is not working! I need to spend more time with them, having fun.
But I’m not a fun mum. I’m an unhappy one. Should I slink on over to Facebook and cry about it? No. I’m Crash Test Mummy so I’m going to go and ask Google instead.
And what do you know? The first result to come up is of course the lovely Kelly Burstow and her wonderful blog “Be a Fun Mum”. How ironic and how fortuitous.
I need to crash test how to be a fun mum – stat!
My blog is about getting organised, taking care of yourself and having fun. I use the internet to help me do this, so crash testing Kelly’s Love the Moment Challenges seemed like the perfect idea.
Last year Kelly posed a new challenge each month. I’ve been through them all and have chosen the following to crash test over the next month.
A little box of reminder notes to help me notice and enjoy the simple little things that are everywhere.
- Borrowed from Kelly’s post
A month long treasure hunt for interesting items to put in a discovery box we make together on the first day.
- Borrowed from Kelly’s post
I’ll update you after a week next Wednesday with some results, photos and reflections. I’ll be sharing photos via Instagram and tweets along the way with the hashtag #imafunmum. Please join in!
An ever optimistic,
Laney x
PS If you’ve found me via the Kidspot and Ford Territory Top 50 Bloggers competition, you can read my ‘Feel the Difference’ entry post and vote here :)
I think we all have time where we feel like we’re the fun police. I love the challenges that Kelly has – and it’s especially important to look after ourselves so we can be fun to be around. Don’t forget that you’ve just come off the back of solo parenting for a few days too, so that’s hard work in itself. Look forward to hearing about your fun!
Debbie @ Aspiring Mum’s last post..Five Daily Sanity Savers.
Thanks Debbie. Kirri White from Happy Mums At Home is going to help me tackle some much needed self-care. Perspective is a good things, thanks for reminding me about the solo-parenting. I’m sure that has something to do with my short fuse and the blues.
I so relate to this. For me it’s my work that is getting me down. It’s interrupting my ability to be fun. interrupting the life I want to live. great ideas there. hang in there.
Mandy’s last post..Sentimental Summer ~ Local Love
It’s nice to know that others can relate and I’m not on my own feeling this way. I feel like such a grump, trying to protect personal space and mourn for a life I kind of wish I had.
Laney, I could’ve written this post. Will be joining you for this too. I’m pretty sure I can be a fun mum, I just need to focus on it more.
Kate Sins’s last post..Is a half-hearted attempt better than no attempt?
Great, let’s do it together. We’re going to make our discovery box today!
Oh, Laney. I can so identify. The only reason I can write about these things is because I’ve been at exactly the place you are right now. And you know what? I sometimes (often) revisit there, and have to regroup myself (This post was just a couple of weeks ago: No Time to Be Fun –> http://beafunmum.com/2012/02/no-time-to-be-fun/).
What you’re doing right now, regrouping, taking time to put things into perspecive, is exactly what I do too (I call it Getting off the Merry-Go-Round –> http://beafunmum.com/2011/10/getting-off-the-merry-go-round/). Oh goodness, I hate that I’m referencing myself! HA!
I’m glad Google put my up in your search feed. Not because I have the answers, because I don’t. But because sharing with eachother is just such a beautiful thing. xxxx
Kelly’s last post..Easter Craft: Egg Carton Chicky
Thank you so much for dropping by Kellie! I was so pleased when Be a Fun Mum came up in the search results. I should have thought of you anyway! I really do need to regroup. The kids can be adorable when I’m in the right frame if mind. CrashBoy nearly cut my finger this morning while we were cutting up magazines to decorate our Discovery Box. His reaction was ‘Oh!’ and he grabbed my finger and kissed it. Heart melts!
It’s hard trying to do so much and you’ve a great blog to keep maintaining too! Something always has to give. Right now I’m not spending as much time visiting blogs and doing bloggy stuff as I used to. And when I start work, it’ll be even less. Kellie is a wonderful find and great inspiration. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Hopefully I’ll dig into some of her stuff more regularly too as both girls get a bit bigger. Heck, they are probably big enough already, with the little one about to have her first birthday. No more excuses!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems’s last post..Wordless Wednesday – Bathed in Sunshine
Thanks for the support Veronica. You will have a lot on your plate when you start working. Sometimes I crave a job so I can get some decent time to myself. I’m sure I’d be more fun and more appreciative of my little angels. It’s a difficult balance – every day.
Not sure if you saw my “wheel of life” and “goals” posts on my blog, but i am making “fun and adventure” one of my top priorities this year – i am SO not a fun mum and want to be. sad that it is a key area I lack abilities in (i have trouble letting go). i find a lot of ideas and help on kelly’s blog so think it is a great idea to crash test 2 of her ideas!
Deb @ Home life simplified’s last post..Finding pockets of happiness
It is awesome that you’ve put fun and adventure on the top of your list. After reading your email, there is great outdoor climbing at the Quarry in Brisbane. My cousin lived in Brisbane and is a climber so I’ll ask him about indoor options for you and the kids.
First of all, that is a beautiful pic that you opened with. Secondly, Im not even going to pretend I can understand, but what I can say is this – I love that you chose your attitude about moving forward, and your attitude was to stop, pause, reflect and change your direction . That speaks volumes about your heart and your dedication to your family. I’ll be reading, cheering you on from the sidelines xx
Lyndal’s last post..Holiday, Celebration
Thanks Lyndal – I snapped that selfie as I sat in front of the computer steaming up my glasses with tears of self pity! Drama queen. Thank you for recognising that it wasn’t a ‘woe is me post’, but that I do eventually pull my socks up and find a solution ;)
Sounds like we need some laughter yoga or something to loosen us up!
I feel the same way Laney, and like Deb I have put having fun high up on my list of priorities this year. Adults have lost the ability to play in our culture, I don’t think that it’s only a mum problem.
I solo parent a lot and that is the hardest time to be fun as there just isn’t anything left in the tank. This year I am going to prioritise fun and self care over cooking and cleaning and folding the bloody endless basket of washing.
I look forward to hearing how you go. xx
Lee’s last post..The self doubt channel
Exactly Lee – there’s just nothing left in the tank! I should probably go to bed the same time they do, but them I miss out on time with hubby. Everyone wants a piece of me! Watch out on Friday – I have the ultimate guide to dealing with the washing – I hope ;)
Kelly’s blog is so inspiring for this very reason. When you feel like parenting is not fun at all, she does give you great ideas and motivation. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Laney. And your honesty is powerful – making me (us) feel like we’re not alone in our struggle to be a parent. I hope you find some happiness soon. xx
Deb @ Bright & Precious’s last post..Crumbs From The Table
We are definitely not alone is the experiences we share as parents. I was starting to feel guilty for being such a grumpy distracted mum though. Onwards and upwards hey?
They’re great ideas; thanks for sharing Kelly’s blog. Good luck finding your fun.
Emily’s last post..Rats can’t vomit
Miss Laney,
You are you are you are a fun mum!
A Fabbo mum!
A gorgeous mum!
A wonderful mum!
An awesome mum!
Ultimately – A NORMAL MUM x
Hugs,
loulou, hereiamloulou blog
x
loulou’s last post..The Bedroom – A pretty place to rest
Kelly’s blog is great. Isn’t great that there are others around to inspire us? I know I often need inspiring!
Dropping in to say hi and hang in there :)
The Imperfect Housewife’s last post..Felt ravioli
Thanks for your support. It’s great being able to find inspiration when you need it.
Hello there, just wanted to send a virtual hug. I have been conflicted as a mum for almost 15 years! It’s such a balance between my brain and the needs of the kids- brains and bodies. In some ways my eldest’s diagnosis of ASD is what made me stay at home, I needed to do so much with him… but I needed so much done too. I was lucky to have a nanny and some au pairs at times, that’s the only way I got the writing done. Do reckon that trying to work properly on something is very, very hard… too hard to also look after yourself. Am a GREAT believer in childcare/nannies etc etc family, whatever… a break… and in cleaning ladies!
Seana Smith’s last post..Cashew + Mushroom Layered Roast
Thanks Seana – virtual hugs much appreciated! There is soooooo much I want to do – my mind is screaming. But there just isn’t enough time or enough me to go around. I would love a cleaner. So much.
There are some great ideas in there ( I missed the original post)
I often feel guilty about ‘ignoring’ my kids so I can tweet, go on facebook, read blogs, whatever. It try to do it when they are not around but then the hubs gets upset cause i do it when he is… you can’t win. trying to get a little time to do ‘my’ thing is near impossible without upsetting someone else. I chose to be home with my kids too and though I love it, I can totally relate to everything you said. I just keep thinking this is a short period and before I know it this time will be gone and I will miss the time we had. I dont want to live with regrets either so I’m trying to put them first as much as possible. I figure my ‘me’ time will be back again one day.
If you asked your kids I bet they’d say you are a fun mum xxx
A lot of it is about patience. I still have three more years with kidlets at home with me. Like you said, this is primarily there time to grow and my time to enjoy it.
It is hard to always be the ‘fun’ parent. Sometimes when I get home from work I am just to exhausted to play- which is sad cos I want to be a fun mum too. One of lifes ongoing puzzles- the perfect balance between time for you (and your sanity) and being the kind of mum you want to be… Hopefully we’ll all figure it out lol. Good for you for putting an action plan in place- love a good action plan :-)
RiRi’s last post..Kids Party Or Minefield?
Exhaustion is a big one – my kids seriously outlast me every time! It feels good to have a bit of a plan to keep me on track. If anything, this blog certainly holds me accountable ;)