I never really had a mothers’ group. I used to walk CrashGirl nearly two miles to a session held each week by our health nurse in Edinburgh. Every week I would have my tiny bird weighed and chat to the other mums as they came and went. There were some of the same faces each week, but not always. We left Scotland when CrashGirl was nearly 9 months old. I don’t remember the names of the other mums.
When my second was born here in Australia I wasn’t offered the opportunity to join a group because I wasn’t a first time mum. I wasn’t too bothered and went to Playgroup instead. So, when I was offered the book The Mothers’ Group to read, I was quite curious.
The Mother’s Group by Fiona Higgins – in stores 26th of March.
You read a lot about mothers’ groups in the blogosphere. Most recently was a post by Bianca on her blog bigwords in which she resigned from her long term mothers group. This was not without repercussion, and it got me thinking about the dynamics that can occur in a group of women thrown together just because they had a baby.
Well, this is exactly what the book was all about. Six mothers brought together by their babies and almost driven apart by unforeseen developments and events. I joined their group for two days and got the inside scoop on all the stuff we don’t always talk about as mothers. Taboo subjects, controversial debates, differences of opinion. I could not put the book down and mourned the loss of my new found friends when I turned to the last page.
It’s funny because I couldn’t really relate to any one particular character, but I recognised the emotions, the difficulties and their individual losses and triumphs. Even a few days later that maternal urge has me wondering how they and their kids are all getting on.
This is my first book review on the blog. My recommendation is just read it. You will nod along the whole way through. Maybe you’re a Ginnie, or you know a Miranda. Are you raising a child on your own like Suzie? Perhaps you’re Cara’s best friend, or you’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much you have in common with a young mum like Made. Maybe yours was the shoulder someone like Pippa needed to cry on?
This is a book that any mother can relate to, whether she has a mothers’ group or not.
Giveaway
Thanks to Allen & Unwin I have some giveaways for you and your mothers’ group. Because I don’t have a mothers’ group I have a little chocolate party every now and then on my own (only a couple of pieces mind you now that I quit sugar!). However, one of you will win a copy of the book and this decadent morning tea hamper to share with your mothers’ group.
The hamper includes:
- Officers Mess Strawberry Conserve 310g
- Byron Bay Bliss balls 160g
- Chocolate Minton biscuits 155g
- Droste pastils 100g
- Raspberry cream Melting moments 140g
- Madura Tea 75g
- White Chocolate Raspberry bullets 75g
- Pink lady Chocolate bar
- Pink Lady truffles x 3
Talk someone into bringing some scones and you’ve got a cracker of a morning tea!
PLUS
Four more of you will receive a copy of the book too!
To enter you need to be a member of Crash Test Mummy so:
or follow me on Facebook or RSS
Then leave a comment below telling me if you think mothers’ groups are a good idea? Why or Why not?
Laney x
Terms and Conditions
The giveaway is open to residents of Australia only.
Entries close 5pm AEDST on Tuesday 10th April 2012.
Winner(s) will be selected on the strength of their answer(s).
First prize is a copy of the book and a Morning Tea Time hamper from The Complete Basketcase. There are 4 runner up prizes of a copy of the book. The total value of the prize pool is $244.85AUD .
The winner will be contacted via email within 24hrs of giveaway closing. If the winner does not respond within 7 days the giveaway will be re-drawn.
Delivery of prizes will be within 2-9 working days depending on location in Australia.
Your answers may be published on Crash Test Mummy in future posts. Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book. My opinions are my own and can’t be bought.
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Hi Laney! I have three daughters but have never been involved in a mothers group as up until 6 months ago, I had no licence (I was always too afraid to get it), so it was too difficult for me to be involved in one.
I do think that they can be very beneficial, in particular for first-time mums.
Reasons why include of course, talking about your child’s behaviors/development; allowing the children to make friends, and the mum actually making an effort to go out, and possibly get dressed up (meaning instead of trakkies she might put in jeans) and this may help her feel better about herself. Hearing other mums advice can be helpful too, and just knowing that she has an outlet to turn to who aren’t judgemental is a really good thing. As well as making some great friends in the process (and perhaps a potential baby-sitter too!)
I wish that I’d been involved in a mothers group. If I were to win, I’d invite my sister and a few cousins who all have young (and very beautiful) children and along with my girls, we’d all have a wonderful time! We dont see each other as often as we should…
I found having a mum’s group a great experience. Awesome support group. People to share exciting times – bubba’s milestones. Also the ‘confusing’ & troubling moments – doesn’t seem to be as bad as I thought it was.
We were a funny bunch of people from all walks of life & nationalities. We still occasionally keep in touch after more than a year & even after I had my 2nd baby.
Mother’s groups are imperative for families that have recently moved into a new area. Need to form new friendships & know where all the local events & facilities happen. FB follower as CHon Ky
Ooh great review Laney – you have me very curious!
I did the mother’s group thing with Jaden, but I only made it to a couple of sessions because I was trying to run a business with a newborn and anything that was not an essential use of my time got jettissoned! I think Mother’s Group is a great idea and a lot of my friends still see their mother’s group friends … but as you say in your post, you are at the mercy of who manages to have a baby at the same time as you, in the same area as you. Sometimes you bond with these people. And sometimes you don’t :)
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RUNNER UP
I’ve had various experiences with Mum’s groups. The first I went to I was very nervous and lacked confidence as a new Mum going to meet other (what I perceived were) experienced Mums. But they were so welcoming from the very beginning that any anxiety about joining the groups soon faded. I found I was able to discuss things with other Mums and hear their experiences about their growing child in a way that i couldn’t with others. because these Mums were going through the very same things and the very same time as I. There’s nothing like some mutual sleepless nights to bond us:) And “hubby coping” stories to have a giggle about.
A couple of those mums still today are very close and dear friends.
But having said that I’ve been to another Mums’ group since, and felt very disappointed at the lack of comradeship between the Mums there. Noone seemed very interested in new attendees, and I soon stopped going.
Yes! I think Mums and kids need to be social and interact with others. It’s nice to find the right group though, that are keeping it real and make us feel good, not inadequate ! Sonia x
I have recently been “adopted” into a mother’s group in our new community, despite my “baby” being two years older than everyone else’s. It has been the best experience and I doubt I would have met such wonderful people otherwise. We’ve just had a dinner party get together and it’s really made us feel accepted, and given us a feeling of belonging here.
The mum who first introduced me to the group, and the group themselves are priceless to me. Without them I would be going mad from solitude!
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RUNNER UP
Subscribed via Facebook and RSS :)
I have a mothers group there are 8 of us. In our group there are 4 girls and 4 boys –
So as mothers we definitely had great advice for eachother. We met up every monday morning at 9.30 (use to be at alternative houses now as they are 2.5yrs its at the local park) we all live within 5 blocks from eachother.
We have all now had our second child.. and there are 4 girls and 4 boys.
We all have pigeon pairs!
1 girl and 1 boy each.
I love my mothers group – the ladies came to my wedding ceremony last weekend, we have nights out every month or so, and always on the other end of the line if we need an emergancy babysitter or needing some advice. We also swap clothes baby clothes with eachother.
Cassie would be a very lonely girl if I didn’t have such a great Mothers Group as we don’t have a playgroup to go too, and she won’t start kindy for another 2 years. She also doesn’t go to daycare. So we both look forward to playing with her friends every Monday.
(I am actually about to head off now to meet them being Monday morning!)
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Hi Laney
I was promised mothers group details by my local community child health nurse but somehow managed to miss the intake and so it never transpired! Once Charlitte had had her first vaccinations at six weeks I started attending the local play group instead. It is brilliant. The same group of girls come every week. We drink coffee and chat. Charlotte sleeps soundly in her capsule or pram for the whole 90 minutes and I get to have some adult conversation. There are no agendas, surprisingly there is no bitchiness and we all genuinely get along. I’m glad I missed out on mother’s group!
Jenn’s last post..wordless wednesday – our town – bushwalking in blackheath, part two
I do think that Mothers Groups are a good idea, but I wish that they could have a different name. I think that women, particularly after they have had children, tend to label themselves only as moms, and they forgot that there are a million other aspects to themselves that deserve to be explored in a group setting.
Our Mother’s group is fantastic! It is a very diverse group of 12 Mothers and babies. I don’t know what I would have done without Mother’s group in my first year of being a Mum- meeting each week gave us all a purpose and something to really look forward to. We began meeting at a cafe at the airport (very roomy- allowing us a space to put the babies down on rugs on the floor), which welcomed us with open arms each week, and provided us with an affordable scrummy 3 course meal. It was in walking distance for most of us, so we met half an hour before and got some exersise (and also allowed us to have guilt free dessert!) We have now moved on to meeting in the gardens (in good weather) or at someone’s house. We take it in turn to bring a ‘treat’- yum, yum!
We have celebrated many milestones that the children have met; beginning to roll, crawl and some even walk. We are now celebrating the babies first birthdays! We have also celebrated many milestones of the parents along the way- an 18th birthday, a 21st birthday and a 40th birthday. We have had 2 first homes bought, new jobs started, an engagement, many christenings and even a Wedding at the end of this year! Lots to celebrate together! With the babies now being one, I am looking forward to the first announcement of a sibling- but none yet.
We have had 2 of our Mums and babies move away- and keep in close contact with them. This is made easier via our Facebook group, which only Mothers from Mother’s group have access to. Here we post photos and videos and ask questions… and lots of them!
We also include the husbands and even grandparents when they are visiting. We have barbecues and picnics on the weekend so that those that have gone back to work can catch up, which is great! We are presently planning a joint first birthday, which will be lots of fun!
Thumbs up for Mother’s group at this end! My only advice is to ‘give it a go’ for a few weeks before you decide it’s not for you.
I meant to add, I won a copy of ‘Anonymums’ at one stage and we have passed this book around our Mother’s group. We could all relate and often mention topics from this book.
Mother’s Groups are a tremendous support. I think there are days I would have lost my sanity if I had not had another Mother to talk to or telephone. Just to be able to vent is so cathartic & such a release of pressure.
Mother’s Group has taught me that I don’t need to try to be the perfect Mother, just the best I can be. Some days this is less, but I can live with that.
As long as you have an honest group who share the good and bad stories I think they’re great!
For me it was great to meet people in my suburb being relatively new there – I learnt more about local services, cafes and parks than I would have otherwise.
I like the idea than my son will potentially go to school with kids he has known his whole life – well, from three weeks old anyway!
My group is diverse in ages, careers and parenting styles, although admittedly we aren’t very diverse culturally or racially which is disappointing – not sure if that’s to do with our suburb (seeing as it was organised originally by our local council) or the types of family structures or support in different cultures that live in my suburb.
I think Mothers groups are a fantastic idea, you can share experiences and questions with people that are going through exactly what you are going through. I moved to a new state with a young baby and was completely lost and depressed. I joimed a mothers group and am feeling a lot better about life since. I can discuss my problems and I know the girls are there for me.
I think these are the types of life long friendships that bring laughter and comfort to your world.
I think they are great for people who don’t work and might find it hard to meet new people, especially if you have recently moved and don’t know anyone. Also for first time parents who may not have friends who have kids, they can feel isolated and unsure of what they are doing, at least with a group of other parents they will have support, advice and help if needed.
Also the kids may meet friends, helping them socialise with others, possibly go off to kindy and school together, making life long friends.
I’m part of one online, via facebook, and it has been of tremendous support. I’ve met some of them a few times now, and they’re all lovely. They helped my family out last Christmas when we were having a really tough time. And they’re just fab to talk to, especially when it comes to my youngest and her health.
Our mothers group has been going almost 4 years and most of us are still in contact, even the ones who’ve moved overseas still keep in touch on facebook and email. It has been the most amazing experience and I met people who I’d never have met. Most of us met with our first bubs, and now the second, and even some third children are playing together. We also had a babysitting club for a while which encouraged us all to get out in the evenings with our partners, and didn’t cost us a cent. There have been a few rifts, but I think that’s inevitable when you get a bunch of women together! :) Some of us are planning a camping trip in the next couple of months so some morning tea would be FAB! I would say to new mums, hang in for a little while, because people’s facades take a little while to rub off :) It didn’t take long before everyone was being honest with each other and stopped pretending that they had the perfect baby/spouse/life! x
Ash’s last post..Simple Things Sunday – Home On the Farm
Oh yes! We’ve just moved back to Australia. We have a small group of 5 mums and babies back in the UK. We miss them dearly, but thank goodness for Facebook, email, mobiles and Skype we can still catch up and share our concerns, milestones and developments. I think we will all be life long friends and hope the kids stay in touch as they grow too.
I think the modern day mother’s groups are just a replacement of the larger families and/or villages that our grandmothers and their grandmothers used to turn to for help, support and comfort with their young children.
My actual mother’s group consists of myself and one other mum – that’s it! We are great friends, and really make an effort to get together often so we can catch up, but also so our children have a regular play date together. Luckily, I have a lot of other mums I have met through work, FB and other social avenues that I see almost as often, so I don’t miss the idea of a large committed busy mother’s group as described by others here – I just don’t think I have the room in my life for so many other people and their needs as well!
I will enjoy my true and loyal friends – be they mums, or not.
Selfish, but true :)
Oooh, that sounds like a great read! I think Mothers’ groups can be very beneficial especially to first-time Mums – sharing experiences, tips, advice & just support in general. It also benefits the littlies learning to interact with each other. For me, I actually started a Mothers’ group in an attempt to help my PND – I wasn’t confident enough to attend one where I knew no-one, so I asked people I know (even if not close friends), where anyone can bring a friend, so there is some other connection but also room to grow & make new friends. So far, it seems to be working well :-)
I love this post and also the sound of that book! I read the Big Words post when Bianca put it out there and so so so so connected with it (and thought that she was incredibly brave). Not because I had a bad experience with my mummy group – totally the opposite – but because I have heard so many stories like hers. My MG was / is fabulous. We were a very tight group of 5 (perhaps that is why it worked so well) and very incredibly supportive with many child “issues” between us. Unfortunately we drifted apart – geographically – and some of us moved further than others. My eldest is now 9 and I still Facebook with my MG and catch up occasionally but it is more for the mummies now than the kids.
I love the idea of a MG – but perhaps that is because mine worked. My younger sis has no contact with hers (and her kids are much younger than mine) and didn’t have the same connection as I either. Perhaps we need to keep re-creating mummies groups as we move through the stages of life? I have a “new mummy group” now – all mums, kids of varying ages, all of us have moved to a rural town and don’t have family to back us up. All of us are “ring ins” (as compared to locals) and none of us have grandparents to babysit / do drop offs / come to kid events. We had end of term 1 lunch today together and talked about school philosophies and thoughts. Perhaps this is what we need to keep evolving through…..
Alli @ Ducks on the Dam’s last post..Busy….. or not?
I think mothers groups are a fantasic idea!,support,great advice and a lot of laughs from women who are in the same situation as you.I don’t know where I’d be without it!
mothers groups are so important. As a first time mom with no family around me I would have given anything to go to a mothers group. I had so many questions and no answers. Then when my son was getting older I know he need interaction with other kids but there just wasn’t anything avaliable. I finally started my own group and it has made such a differnce in my life. When my son was 3days old he ended up back in hospital because he was severly dehydrated turns out I thought he was breaSt feeding fine but he wasnt getting anything I couldn’t figure out why he cried all the time. This is first time mom stuff to a t. I can’t help but think if I was only part of a mums group then and had other moms that could see what was going on, my son wouldnt have ended up back in hospital.
my mothers group was right for me. When we had our third child after an eight year gap, I needed a group where I was just a mum. I was involved, and still am, in another group where women meet regularly, but in a capacity as a counsellor, and I just wanted to be another mum in a mothers group. They can be a chance to relax and spend some lovely time with your baby in a social setting. As our babies got older, we met at a park so the babies could toddle around and get some lovely fresh air. We still meet each year with a Christmas party even though the older ones are now at school.
Alannah Shore (luvbooks)’s last post..Almond Bread
I moved over 550km to a new town when my baby girl was 3 weeks old. She had an extended stay in the NICU so I really only had 5 days with her before moving.
I was fortunate in that a mothers group was just getting started when I got here. Those girls have become my support network, my family away from home. When my hubby was working 14 hour days & not seeing Emily, those girls helped me celebrate her milestones & provided much needed adult conversation.
I would be lost without them!
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I think the reason why I am so interested in reading this book is because I was never in one, and never having been to one I don’t feel very qualified to say if they are a good ideas or not. I think they would be good if you do find support and empathy, but it could also lead to comparisons and fear of not being good enough at a very vulnerable time. I guess they would be suited to some people and not others.
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RUNNER UP
I joined a mothers group when my son was born 11 years ago. I loved that group & having friends who were going through the same stages that I was was such a help. It was a hard transition going from full-time work to being a full-time mummy but I had 7 friends who were going through exactly the same thing. 11 years later I still keep in contact with most of the friends I made in that group. Last year I had baby no3 after a long break, my older kids were 10 & 7 so I felt like a first time mum all over again when it came to baby things. This time I joined an on-line mothers group which I love just as much as my IRL group. There are about 20 of us & I have only met a few of them but find it so handy for advice, sympathy or even just a sounding board. I love mothers groups & I can’t wait to read this book.
I joined a Mothers Group and I near say it saved me from going mad. I am still friends with the girl’s now, 8 years after first meeting.
I recently visited a mother’s group for the first time. I’ve lived in Townsville for over 7 years and I know we have a large military and mining contingent, but I didn’t really realise what that means for the wives of these men. There were many mothers who not only have their husbands/partners away for long periods of time, most of them are also away from their support network of friends and extended family because work is what brought them to this area. We all know mommy hood can be SO hard somedays and this mother’s group was a vital network for them. I loved it and even though I don’t mind making a new friend, I do have a good network and hope I can lend a hand to some other mums! Thanks for sharing about this book!! :)
Rebekah’s last post..She Gave Me A Destiny
Mothers groups are a great idea and in some ways they can be a lifesafer. All mums need support especially first time mums. Reminds me of one of my old favourite songs ‘We Can’t be Beaten’ – shoulder to shoulder we’ll fight the world. Sometimes being a mum really is just like going into battle!
Great post, thanks so much for the link. Was fabulous meeting you at the DPCON. x
bigwords’s last post..The Human Yo-Yo
You’re welcome. Your post was awesome! Gosh, we didn’t really get to talk at DPCON – it’s such a full on time isn’t it? Next time ;-)
RUNNER UP
The right group, I’m sure, would be amazing. Though, my experience was not. I somehow managed to find myself in a group who seemed to get their self worth out of being the perfect mother. And, it felt like a competitive sport. From the type of birth you had (no drugs beats epidural, vacume beats c/section) to what you fed your baby (breast beats formula, duh, and breastfeeding your 5 year old and your newborn simultaneously beats everything), to how you parent (taking your baby to the toilet with you beats letting the little sucker cry.at.all).
Anyway, I got out of there quick smart, and instead, found a virtual, online parenting group instead. So much nicer, and, I could squeeze some “me” time in at anytime of the day or night….there was always someone to chat too. Perfect!
I have been so lucky with the Mother’s Group that my daughter and I became part of. A local Maternal Health Centre had been burnt down so four mum’s that would not normally have come to my local centre were invited to join our group. And nearly 9 years on they are still all good friends! There is a group of 7 families from our original group that still get together regularly for fish & chip nights, play dates and to celebrate the birth of subsequent children as well as our own significant birthdays. For the past 6 years we have also been spending a weekend away camping together. Three years ago I had to have major surgery for breast cancer and was buoyed by the support & help of such great friends. Even though our kids are now spread across quite a few different primary schools I truly believe that both amongst them and us mums some lifetime friendships have been formed. I also want to mention my second mum’s group – the mum’s I got to know when my little girl went through 3 year old and 4 year old kinder. We still catch up for coffee and gossip, help each other out when we need it, and have just started our own personal training group to try and support each other in getting healthy and fit. To have made two such great groups of friends through having a child means I have been truly blessed!!
Yes, mothers’ groups ARE a good idea. But I make that declaration “on balance”. A mothers group provides much needed support to first time mums. In the modern world, many women live far from their families and may have little support other than a mothers group or the health service. A mothers group gives you a pool of advice and other kids to compare yours to. Of course, first time mums are probably not the best source of advice (what do we know?) and comparing your kid to others is insane (you soon learn that all kids are different), but in between you form friendships… Some are just for a “season”, but some last a lifetime. Our mums group kids are now five and we’ve just had the month of birthday parties. Some of these women are among my besties… So that has to make mums group a good idea in my book. :-)
WINNER
Mother’s Groups are very important in our society. Without them, how else will we know that our baby smiled a good two weeks later than normal, crawled at the prescribed crawling time, walked very early – and aren’t we so proud? – and still doesn’t have enough teeth? How else will we get to meet those women who somehow have it altogether, who breastfeed without any troubles, whose baby slid into a routine so effortlessly and who still have the audacity, after all those episiotomy stitches, of coming to the group looking immaculate? How else will we know that we must oil our babies like salads to reduce cradle cap – and that we must eat the unoiled salad to reduce pregnancy fat?
And how else will we know, when we feel like frumps, the house is a mess, our babies are crying and all the friends we had up till now have given the baby gifts, cuddled the newborn but honestly, don’t do nappies! – how will we know, without our Mother’s Group, that somebody understands and somebody cares and is waiting for us with a hug and a chocolate?
I was lucky to meet one of my best friends through my mothers group. We lived around the corner from one another and got into the habit of taking the girls for a walk in the prams as the thin veiled excuse to have coffee, cake and many glasses of wine.
10 months later my beautiful friend moved over 5 hours away. It was a traumatic day for both of us but we have maintained our friendship with regular ‘coffee phone dates’ where we settle in for an hour long chat and just talk about life and occasional visits.
I made other friends in the group too but when I moved away as well, its really only by the grace of Facebook that we stay in touch and a concerted effort on my part to travel back to say hi.
All the ladies in my group were lovely but with some, we were acutely aware that the only thing we had in common was the age and location of our kids. I think that’s healthy and normal.
We organised a group birthday party for the kids for their first and second birthdays which I’ll always remember fondly but I’m relieved not to have the burden of feeling obligated to maintain a lot of the friendships just because we had babies at the same time. I can only imagine the group dynamics in the book!
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Mothers groups are like all things in life, at a certain time they are just what you need but as you grow mature and change your outlook, the people you mix with also does. If you are part of a group that actively engages each other and are honest sharing struggles and supporting each other, than great. The problem comes when you feel judged, threatened or insecure. As mums we don’t need to have more pressure from more sources. My mothers group are great, we mix up what we do from week to week, I think that helps heaps.
I had my first child seven years ago. Everyone was giving me conflicting advice and I was so confused. I felt like the worlds worst mother. I reluctantly joined the mothers group run by the local council. It was such a relief to meet other new mothers who were just like me!
Most of the mums and kids from that first meeting are still friends. Instead of 8 kids, there are now 19 with another on the way. We go away together, meet up for play dates & do all sorts of fun activities together as families or just as friends. I couldn’t survive without my mothers group friends!
Wow, what a lot of comments! Mothers groups are obviously something people feel strongly about. And in a positive way on the whole I see. I wonder if this is because those who had a negative experience somehow feel embarassed to share that when everyone else is so glowing.
I, like Laney (who was my neighbour in the UK when our oldest ones were tiny), moved back to Australia just before the birth of my second child. Even tho my maternal child health nurse is wacky in many ways, she at least had the sense to offer me the option of joining a mothers group since I was ‘new’ to the area & being an Aussie mum. All the others in my group are first time mums but they have been great to hang out with & didn’t leave me out of things just because I’d been there before.
I feel that the group dynamics are still working themselves out (the babies are 13mths now & most of us have gone back to work) and there are some that I click with better than others. We meet ‘formally’ once a month & sometimes do informal catch ups thru the week for those who’s non-working days coincide.
I have valued their support, despite my ‘experience’ and hope that we’re still going strong in the future like some of the other posts above.
We were 8 mums & we adopted another one as her group didn’t work out at all!
If it wasn’t for mothers groups there would be so much more post natal depression. They are wonderful support groups for new mothers.
I think Mother’s Groups are a great idea. The comfort of talking to other mums about your hopes and fears of your little one helps so much.
I have been in a few mothers groups and playgroups. They were good at the time, but I am no longer part of any group…except online blogging!
Playgroups are good for Mothers and Kids but can become too much of a competition sometimes. I think that they are good when little ones are babies- but as soon as they start walking then comparing each other childrens developments come into play.
I like that I could have a cuppa of coffee and have an adult conversation – I miss that side ot Mothers Groups/Playgroups. But I dont miss the “Keeping up with the Jones” attitude that some Mothers have! The book looks interesting.
Lisa Wood’s last post..Easter Time With Family
The right mothers group is a godsend. Find yourself at one that isn’t you and you leave either hating yourself or the people in the group!
I went to a mums group with my first but didnt bond with any of the woman and only went twice.. I was never invited with my other two which was a real shame because I really needed some kind of interaction at those times..
So I think they are good but should not be limited to first time mums
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Mothers groups are essential. For some its there only adult stimulation for the week and a catch up on all things mums talk about. Its great for interaction with other little ones as well. An outlet for new mums that keeps us sane. :))
I had heard so many horror stories about mothers groups – so I joined 3 – just to hedge my bets. I thought I would just stick with the group that I bonded most with. Problem was – I liked them all!!! It got a little bit hectic in my week – I was always heading out to catch up with the mums – chat and have a coffee together. It was amazing to be able to talk about our bubs, our issues, the joys, etc – without the fear of being the new mum that only talks about her baby! Something I felt with my other friends. Only problem was – 3 times a week was too much… When the bubs were older – I managed to join the groups together – that way I can still catch up with this amazing group of women :)
A group of women together at any time can be a very interesting dynamic. Throw in the mix of being a new mother, hormonal and sleep deprived, and well all sorts of interesting things can happen.
There was eight years between my second child and my third, and I had also moved to a new location so I decided to join. I was the only mummy who had other kids, was one out of two that were “older” as in over 35. It was a good experience and one that I’m glad I did. I looked after one of the mum’s daughter when she returned to work for 12 months, and then did it again when she had her second. I count her as one of my closest friends.
Vicky’s last post..Chameleon
As a first time Mummy mothers group was a godsend, loved sharing stories and it was good to see what stage the other babies were up to. I’m still really good friends with one mother from my group and our girls started Kindy together and are still the best of friends
Mothers’ groups are great with your first born – to help you keep your sanity when your other friends don’t understand what you are going through and you need people to talk to who can relate to you. However, mothers’ groups can also be a vehicle for competitiveness and making comparisons between babies/routines etc, which can be detrimental if you let it be. They are great if you can take out the good bits and not pay too much attention to the other bits and have faith in yourself that what you are going with your baby is the best for you and your baby.