She looked so tired, but I was pleased she had agreed to come and have a coffee with me. I hadn’t realised she was having a tough time, she always seemed on top of everything, so I had been surprised when her voice faltered on the phone and the tears started. So there we were, at my insistence, having a coffee (decaf of course), while I nodded along at all the familiar things she was telling me.
She told me about her exhaustion, the depression, her short temper with the kids. “I’m just not enjoying being a mum” she said. I could see the tears brimming and quickly diverted the approaching waitress with a quick signal for two more coffees. I gave her a break and took over the conversation for a while.
I told her about my adrenal fatigue, my breakdown and the time when I just wanted to drive into oncoming traffic. She raised a surprised eyebrow and continued to listen intently as I described my journey into blogging.
I explained how it helped me take inspiration from other blogs and websites and use that inspiration to make actual changes in my everyday life. How, at first, it was just things to occupy my time with the kids and get a little more organised. Little crash tests here and there.
Then I shared with her the unexpected outcome, the community of women I discovered online, and how supportive they were. How I actually started to feel the difference my blogging was making.
Because slowly I started to feel better, less tired, more energised. Little achievements from my crash testing improved my confidence weekly.
Quitting sugar in my sugar crash challenge resulted in not only me and my fellow crash testers feeling the difference, but every time CrashHubby hugged me he could feel the difference six fewer kilograms made!
Helping myself and others to “March to the beat of our own drums” meant it wasn’t just me who could feel the difference after a journey of self discovery and revelation.
Knowing my pap test scare prompted more than twenty women to tell me they had made their appointment meant we all felt the difference as the collective worry lifted from our shoulders.
I told her how my community cheered me on, joined in and shared their own stories of change and triumph with me.
I paused, and felt an overwhelming feeling of pride and relief that I had started Crash Test Mummy. I knew she needed to set off on her own discovery. I could have recommended dozens of blogs that were deeper, funnier, sadder, prettier, or more organised than mine.
But, I knew it was mine she needed to read.
She would find inspiration, solidarity and escape in other blogs, but in mine she would find the ally she needed. Someone to hold her hand and show her that change was possible. An ally who didn’t have a perfect house or perfectly behaved children, but who was giving it a red hot go and was slowly finding contentment in the home and family life she was creating.
On my blog she wouldn’t find a resident expert telling her what to do. She would find me. Someone who was willing to be the experiment in a bid to find what feels right for herself and her family.
If she read my blog she would belong to a community of supportive women who were doing their best to get organised, take care and have fun. She would feel the difference.
So I pushed my newly printed business cards across the table and said,
She managed a tired smile and there was a glimpse of a familiar spark in her eyes. She looked a little like this:
::
Hi! I’ve come a long way since then because of my blog. That photo of me was taken just over 8 months ago, as I was re-starting Crash Test Mummy after my break down. If you’re new here you can read why I started my blog here. To my much loved regular readers, thank you! Motherhood isn’t always a smooth ride and you can’t get off! So we just have to go with it, no matter how hard it gets. I love that you guys are buckled in right alongside me.
This post will be judged by a panel on its merits to determine if I get into the Top 5 for the Kidspot and Ford Territory Top 50 Bloggers competition. But telling my story is only part of it, I also need your vote.
Don’t vote for me just because I asked you to. Don’t vote for me because you like the name of my blog or the colour yellow! Don’t vote for me just because you could win $5,000 (you totally could!).
Vote for me if you want to come on the ride too. Vote for me if you want to see me continue on my blogging journey, and take a delightful little detour to New York courtesy of Ford. I’ll use the money I save from having to pay my own way to help take you on a video tour as I crash test New York. And if you’re lucky I might take you for a ride in the new Ford Territory ;)
If I was to write a song about my journey into blogging, this would be it! Enjoy listening to it while you’re voting for your favourite blogs, but before you go . . .
Can you feel the difference since joining the Crash Test Mummy ride? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below :)
Thank you and take care,
Laney x
Amazing Laney. You really ARE amazingly inspirational!
Kelly Exeter’s last post..The butterfly effect. Or why everything we do is important.
Thanks for commenting Kelly! I’ve always appreciated your support here on the blog. Thanks also for going along with my crazy schemes even if you were pulling your hair out trying to cull all your boy’s too small clothes in a weekend ;)
Laney, this is such a wonderful and thoughtful post! You really do deserve to win – your blog IS such an inspirational place to come. Not because you were already awesome (you were, but that’s beside the point), but because I’ve been able to read as you have grown and become even more awesome. You are such a support to so many. Thank you.
Daisy’s last post..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
Wow Daisy, I don’t even know what to say to that! But, thank you. My blog would be nothing without all the other blogs I draw inspiration and support from. That’s why I love this blogging community. Best online mothers’ group ever ;)
Such a thoughtful post, you have managed to put into words what it’s like to be a mother in this crazy, fast paced world where sometimes we just have to hang on and get through the day. Blogs like yours make that ride just a little easier. Good luck with the competition. xT
Something Gorgeous’s last post..Extreme makeover
Thank you! Reading blogs and sharing experiences with other mothers really does make the ride easier – for all of us!
You go girl – after all you have gone through and the way you have helped others, you deserve that Trip to New York. Good Luck hun and keep on doing exactly what you are doing. xxx
Sonia @ Life Love and Hiccups’s last post..Kidspot Ford Territory Top 50 – Feel the Difference
Thank you Sonia. You are so kind, thank you for your support. I think every mother deserves a trip to the Big Apple! Wouldn’t it be good if we could all go to New York? What a hoot that would be!
Oh Laney, what a fab post! I loved the twist at the end.
I have really enjoyed following you since the early days of your blogging odyssey and seeing you blossom so beautifully. Your drive, enthusiasm and compassion shine through in everything you write. As I’ve said before, you are a glittering star in blogging’s bright firmament. Onwards and upwards, my friend! J x
Jane’s last post..How we celebrated Easter 2012 on Planet Baby
Jane, you’re an absolute gem. Thank you for supporting me and giving me a boost when I need it. You always helped my confidence as I slowly crawled out of the fatigue. Your gorgeous comments are sprinkled all around the interwebs and they do so much good. Thank you x
You are amazing but to put it simply I just love that you make me feel like I’m ‘normal’ in as normal a way possible as a mum can be! Reading your posts takes a huge load of pressure off me as I realise that we all struggle in our individual ways but together (and with a bit of a laugh along the way) we can all get through our days as best we can (and sometimes even better than we thought possible!). Thanks for being there and making the job of ‘mum’ seem not quite so overwhelming. xoxo
Bron you’ve been a constant support, so I’m glad you get something from the blog too, even if that it just feeling normal! I shall continue to normalise the abnormal and let you all Laugh At My Expense. It’s one place where I don’t mind being referred to as a LAME mother ;)
Good luck. You are one of the kindest bloggers I know. You might not know this but I saw you befriend a nervous blogger at the DPCON12 dinner. You were so open, so kind, so generous. I am glad you did it because it turned out later this was a girl I had been to uni with 20 years ago. I knew there was a reason I was watching, it was because I recognised her. And I saw you being lovely. xx Good luck chicken.
Madam Bipolar (@SawHole)’s last post..Undercover Illness – When No One Knows You’re Sick
Sorry I should have said I was watching because I was trying to place her, instead of trying to embrace her into the group like you were. Does that make sense?
Madam Bipolar (@SawHole)’s last post..Undercover Illness – When No One Knows You’re Sick
Yes, you are making sense! I’m so glad you know her. Was it Bronwyn? I can’t remember the name of her blog but I know she blogs about having a child on the spectrum. I wanted to make sure she hooked up with the other autism bloggers like Kate says stuff and About a Bugg. Please DM me if you know her blog, that is if we are talking about the same person!
And thank you Lisa. Good luck to you too, you Top 50 Blogger you ;)
It was Bronwyn. :) She posted Three Little Words on my blog a few days ago.
Madam Bipolar (@SawHole)’s last post..Three Little Words
You’ve certainly been an inspiration to me as I started blogging around the same time as you (and had the same pre blogging feeling more than once of wanting to drive into a tree). You show us how we can be our best story. xxx
Becci’s last post..A Good Weekend
Thanks Becci. Isn’t it amazing how quickly things can get better when we are surrounded by such an amazing community? It was really lovely to meet you at DPCON. I hope you enjoyed your trip to Melbourne.
Good luck Laney – your journey is quite an amazing one!! I have a feeling you will make the top 5!
Deb @ Home life simplified’s last post..Saying no to say yes
Thanks Deb – that’s a compliment and a half! Have always appreciated your support x
Congratulations Laney, on your wonderful blog, on the Kidspot nomination and your recovery and bloom. I have enjoyed reading your posts as I have had a similar journey and blogging has totally helped me find my mojo. What an awesome community we belong to!
Good luck! xx
Lee’s last post..A beginners guide to proper breathing
Thank you Lee. It was great to meet you and so many others as I watched this community come alive at the conference. It’s amazing, not only how helpful the online community is, but what wonderful women they are in real life too!
Great post Laney! You are doing such an amazing job and are such an inspiration. It’s all because you are being true to yourself and kind to others.
Thanks Caz. I’ve certainly learned a lot from you ;)
This is so well written Laney. Thank you for being so honest, and open. xx
Chantelle {fat mum slim}’s last post..Lets go crazy!
Thanks Chantelle – there’s no other way to be ;)
When I started blogging it was for myself, to make a space in my life to stop and think, I never realised I would find such an increcible community of women. It makes me feel so normal and supported even though I might never meet any of you and I hope that, over time, my blog does the same.
Well done, you are such an inspiration.
mummyateme’s last post..Real Life Barbie, Do We Really Want to Look Like That?
Thanks for dropping by! Yes, the community you find online is like the village that used to support mums! Good luck with your blogging.
You are an inspiration, Miss Laney. xx
Kellie @ Three Li’l Princesses’s last post..Taking one for the team