You don’t need to be exhausted or depressed to be in the Danger Zone. Maybe you’re just a little bit lost. The roadmap through an easier, happier and healthier motherhood can help you too.
Sometimes motherhood all gets a bit hard. Whilst having children is immensely rewarding, it’s also bloody relentless. It can be easy to let your child’s needs become all consuming. Sure, we love them, so why shouldn’t they get our attention?
But what happens when the kids and your role as ‘Mum’ becomes your entire life and it’s not a change you were either willing to make or can get used to? I made the choice to be a stay at home mum, and whilst I’ve loved it, it has also been to my detriment at times.
What’s all this got to do with Facebook?
When things get hard we can tend to put our heads in the sand. We ignore the piles of washing, we avoid going out with friends because we feel like shite, exercising is something for people with energy, reading the same book again for the millionth time – no thanks.
We get lost in the Motherhood.
We lose our friendships. We lose our bodies. We lose our privacy. We lose our style. We lose our career. We lose our confidence.
We lose our way. We lose our direction.
What do we do instead? We lose ourselves in Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest (the holy grail of procrastination), daytime TV, Bejewelled!!!!
You know your poison ;)
Here at Crash Palace we’ve become very aware of the time we spend sitting next to each other and not actually talking. TV or the iPad becomes an escape from talking about how we’re feeling. They distract us from discussing difficult stuff like finances or my mental health. We’re knocking it on the head.
I’m also finding it quite ironic that I’m writing this blog post during a time that I’ve hardly been on social media and am finally feeling more motivated than I have been in a long time. I’ve recently started two new jobs. Jobs I could only have dreamed of having when I started my blog. It just goes to show, you can find your direction again. You don’t need to stay lost in the Motherhood.
So I’m guessing you probably want some kind of advice or a map to find your way out?!?!?!
My best advice is focus on yourself for a bit. Find some space to evaluate how you are really feeling and talk to someone about it! Work on different aspects of your life and look for some inspiration to start claiming your life back. This is what I hope this blog will be for you. I look to others for ideas and inspiration to crash test. We can do it together.
Also look back and remember what it was you loved to do before you became a mum.
Don’t forget, you had a life before kids. Remember, they’re coming along for the ride and enriching it, not taking it over ;)
My last piece of advice is this. You’ve been around longer than your kids. You have so much to give them and show them. Demonstrate to them how to live your life, rather than get pulled entirely into theirs.
But remember, I’m not the expert, I’m the experiment. Become the experiment. We’re not all the same. Not all of us have lost the same things. But it’s up to us to find them again and explore new aspects of life as a mum ;)
Are you feeling a bit lost? Have you found yourself again? Have you found a better self?
I’d love to hear your stories.