Danger Zone: She’s not a black dog, she’s a seductress

This is the next stop on our roadmap.  We’re still exploring the Danger Zone.  The last post was about exhaustion and fatigue.  Today I explore depression in an attempt to help us all reveal it and start taking the next step, for ourselves or for our loved ones.

Depression is a seductress

Photo Credit: Fulla T via Compfight cc

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If a black dog started hanging around, I’d notice.  It would be totally obvious.  If she started getting aggressive with me and tried to dominate me, I’d fight back.

I’d put a collar and leash on that bitch and teach her some manners.

No, for some of us, Depression is craftier, more covert, surreptitious.

At first she’s the friend who offers you tea and sympathy . . .

“Yes, I can see how hard it is.  They’re both still young.  I understand.  You’re probably just really tired.”

“You’re not the only one.  All mums find it hard.”

She’s your ally and alibi, pulling you into the charade, offering your excuses . . .

“Don’t worry about the dishes, you need a rest.”

“Who cares if you’re not super skinny, you deserve that wine and chocolate.”

“Just roll over and got to sleep, he’ll understand.”

The seductress reveals her true self . . .

“They’d be better off without you.  I’ll take care of them.”

“You can’t get it together.  Why don’t you just give up?”

All she really wanted was your life.  To drive a wedge between you and those your love.  To rob you of your interests.  To squash your zest for life.

Would you notice the warning signs?

How easily would the seductress weave her way into your life and try and take it away from you?

When CrashHubby first suspected I was depressed, we turned to the Beyond Blue website for guidance.  In my own time and privacy I answered one of the surveys.  I was shocked to see the result, but thankfully I had CH’s support.

It gave me the jolt I needed.  Even so, it was still hard to take the next step of seeing a GP, but I did.

The following are some symptoms from one of the checklists for depression on the Beyond Blue site.  There are also checklists for anxiety, bipolar disorder and PND.

  • Depressed mood most of the day
  • Less interest or pleasure in all activities
  • Weight loss or gain (when not dieting)
  • Sleeping difficulties
  • Slowed or fastened movements
  • Tiredness or loss of energy
  • Feeling worthless
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Thoughts of death

I have a crash test for you

It’s time to reveal the seductress.  If not for yourself, then for someone else who might need help.

If life has been feeling a bit foggy and grey, consider having a look at the Beyond Blue site or one of the many resources on the RUOK site that can help you recognise how you’re feeling, or help you reach out to someone else.

Or maybe you know the signs because you’ve already walked in those shoes.  Is there someone in your life you could help?

IMPORTANT: Don’t go looking for things that might not be there.  Be respectful.  Don’t judge.

Here is a great guideline on how to ask someone else if they are ok.

DISCLOSURE: I’m not a trained medical professional and what I write here does not constitute medical advice. If you or someone you love needs help, please seek the services of a GP or other relevant medical professional.

If you feel comfortable sharing, please comment below. If you can offer advice of your own, we’d all love to hear from you.

Take care,

Laney x

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Comments

  1. Well said, you have nailed it. I do know the signs now and like you have a super husband who also knows what to look for. This is a topic that needs more promotion, it is not something to be ashamed of, once you start talking about it, you will be surprised how many other people feel the same way.
    The mask you wear is doing a good job of hiding what you really feel but is it doing you any favours?

    Talk to someone, anyone, but you are not alone.

    • Laney Galligan says:

      The mask is well and truly off! I’m happy to share my experiences with others now, to try and de-stigmatise it. Thanks goodness for super husbands, hey?

  2. You have said it exactly as it happened with me. Now that I am dealing with menopause and anxiety attacks – I feel like I am losing my mind. Some days I feel like I could take on the world but then other days I feel like all I can safely manage to do is curl up on my bed and cry. My husband has been super supportive and I can’t thank him enough. My work have been very understanding and are doing what they can to help me get through this because I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel – I just need to be patient to get through this. But, man it is hard right now – there are so many things I want to do and yet so little that I can get done.
    Sending heaps of love, hugs and positive energy your way Lovely Laney !
    Me

    • Laney Galligan says:

      It must be a difficult time for you, but I’m glad you’ve got great support, at home and online! I’ve realised I need to be in a less of a hurry. To allow myself to process what’s going on so I can take the right and natural path and I need to be on. All the ‘things’ can wait xox

  3. I think that I had undiagnosed PND with my first bubba. I had a Little Miss who just wouldn’t sleep and I couldn’t cope with that. High achiever didn’t like not being able to “control” my new baby. I got through. I knocked back a lot of help (that I really could have used) because I didn’t want to be seen as “someone who couldn’t cope”. Made it through my second new baby without the same stresses as I was more aware of what happened first time around. I don’t think that I have had issues since the small child time but I certainly am aware of times that I am “down” and act accordingly.
    Loving your road map Laney. Well done you xxxx

    • Laney Galligan says:

      It’s a shame that so many go undiagnosed. I totally understand your situation though, being a fellow high achiever. It doesn’t help us at all! We can’t possibly control and know how to deal with every situation – especially child-related ones! I’m back on track with the roadmap. A new post next week :)

  4. My boy is 21 months old and I recently saw a counsellor for the first time.
    I had been keeping myself so busy that I didn’t notice I was living life on the outside…I wasn’t really present in anything I was doing. I never really felt sad and yet I never really felt enjoyment.
    It wasn’t until I slowed down that I realised how I had been feeling.
    I am so glad that I sought help.
    Just talking to someone and acknowledging how hard things had been and how I had suffered as a result brought me huge relief. I am still working on solutions but I now feel confident that in the future I will be better able to balance keeping everyone else happy with keeping myself happy.

    And also I wanted to add that it is important to get basic blood work done to rule out iron deficiencies or thyroid problems or other issues that can cause you to be feeling low and tired.

    • Laney Galligan says:

      Talking is so important and I’m glad you found someone who could help you. And yes, I totally agree on getting blood work done. Mine revealed hormone issues.

  5. What a brilliant way of putting it.

  6. Very important post, Laney. So glad you’re talking about it. This stuff needs to be talked about. I am still struggling with depression myself. I hope you’re getting the help you need. Lots of love. xx

    • Laney Galligan says:

      Thanks for your comment Deb. I’ve taken a little break from talking about it, just to process how I’m feeling. Luckily the prognosis is good! I hope you’re doing ok xox

  7. Great post Laney.
    I have suffered anxiety and depression since my early 20′s and was lucky enough to have a great GP that referred me to a great physchiatrist, who I have been seeing for 15 years.
    When I had my first bubs 4.5 years ago I suffered from PND and my physchiatrist helped me immensely.
    I have just had bubs#2 and have a lot of plans in place to not suffer from PND again.
    It is really important to seek help if you are feeling depressed or anxious!!

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