If a man does not keep pace with his companions perhaps it is because he hears a different drum. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoreau
I’m pretty sure that I have one thing in common with 99% of you who read this. We are mums.
“Mum”
It has to be the most ubiquitous role there is. And no I’m not ignoring all the Dads out there. It’s just as ‘roles’ go, there are far more of us who will reply to the question, “What do you do?” with an answer of “I’m a Mum” (or the more dreaded I’m just a Mum) rather than “I’m a Dad”. Let’s face it, more women stay at home with the children than men and when we make that decision it is then seen by society as our role, our little pigeon-holed identity. But does it define us? Does it make us all the same?
I bloody hope not!
But in an age where we are more connected than ever, via social media and the internet, could we be at risk of becoming a bit homogenised? Or at the very least being subjected to what is portrayed as the ideal (whatever that is) mother? Back in the day I dare say our mothers and grandmothers just got on with it (yes I’m generalising). These days we are all busy analysing what ‘it’ is and how we are going to do ‘it’. What kind of mums will we be?
Are we a Stay At Home Mum, a Working Mum or even a Work At Home Mum? Are we a breastfeeding mum, a fun mum, a home schooling mum? The answer doesn’t matter. What matters is that whatever we choose to do, it doesn’t have to be a role that defines us.
I think the great thing about being a mum with access to the internet is the sharing of experiences online. As a blogger I read a lot of blogs (contrary to what my sometimes lack of commenting might suggest). What I’ve learned is that whilst we are not all the same, we are dealing with similar issues, experiencing similar problems, reacting to the same economic and political situations. So yes, from a blogger’s perspective things in the world of ‘mummy blogging’ might get a bit samey at times.
But it is our commonality that gives us strength. When we share problems, experiences and tips we give each other confidence to be the mums we want to be. The downside is when we compare ourselves to something that is unattainable (for whatever reason) or when we rely too heavily on the external. At face value I am guilty of this, because when I have a problem that needs solving I head straight to Google. As Crash Test Mummy it’s my Modus Operandi so to speak!
But I’m not always Crash Test Mummy. I’m also a mum – who is largely conflicted about whether she is a good one by the way. And I’m also Laney. A wife, a mother, and me. It’s usually the ‘me’ that sits at the bottom of the pile of roles I have. It’s the ‘me’ that get’s lost. But at the end of the day it the ‘me’ that makes a difference.
So, do I have a point? Yes, I do and that point is ‘difference’. Sure, let’s reassure ourselves with our common experiences, but let’s celebrate and own our differences. What makes you, YOU?
The reason I ask this, is because it’s your uniqueness that people are drawn to – your children, your peers, your potential employers, your blog readers. So for the month of March I’m setting a challenge. I don’t care if I end up doing it by myself. But if you are interested in:
- rediscovering who you are
- understanding what makes you tick
- feeling good about being the mum you are or want to be
- finding the confidence to zig instead of zag
then play along. It can’t hurt.
March to your own beat
Firstly can I just say that:
I am not the expert, I am the experiment!
I don’t have all the answers. That’s why I go to Google! But what I do have is the get up and go to find solutions to my problems, to motivate myself and get results.
Every day for the month of March I’ll ask a question or set a small challenge to help you create a picture of who you are, what you stand for, what you love. You can respond to me on my Facebook page, you can write a blog post if you want to. Do whatever you want – make a note in a journal, share a photo on Instagram or Twitter. There are no rules, because I totally understand the irony in asking you to follow something I’m suggesting! Don’t march to my drum – just use it to find your own beat. Each Wednesday I’ll put up a new set of challenges for the week. This week is about reflection.
If you do want to use the prompts and are happy to share you can use the hashtag #marchownbeat. If you write a blog post, tag me on Facebook and I’ll share it. For the bloggers out there who are keen to create a brand from your blog, this is a very helpful exercise to get you started in defining your Unique Value Proposition.
So, don’t just march to the beat of a different drummer. Create your own beat and dance to it.
In fact, get down and boogie to it!
Laney x
Source: Some of the prompts are sourced from the book “Zen and the Art of Making a Living” by Laurence G. Boldt, the rest were made up by me ;)
Oh, sounds like fun and a great way to actually blog again. I lost my bloggy mojo, and this may rekindle it!
Rhi’s last post..Baby steps
It certainly will help you blog again! It will help you form a picture of who you are and what you’re about. Hopefully you’ll rediscover your passions and start writing again Rhi :)
Love this challenge Laney! So many of us lose track of our personal identities when we become immersed in mummyhood.
Before I was a mumma, I used to be less serious and less responsible. Sure it’s important to be a responsible parent but every now and then I just want to kick it up a little. My big goal is to have an adventure based holiday with hubby this year…my smaller goals centre around dancing more and being silly!!
kirri’s last post..A short guide to achieving life balance
Thanks Kirri! It can be hard to find the ‘me’ in Mum again. I can totally relate to who you used to be before you became a mum. I think there should be more dancing and silliness too ;). Good luck planning your big adventure this year. I’m envious. I’d love to go trekking in the Himalayas.
Great stuff Laney! I love these prompts – if you blog any of them do they need to be on the day / date to match? or any time? I really think I would like to explore the “before I was a mom i used to” prompt…
Deb @ Home life simplified’s last post..Top 10 tips for better sleep and better health
Hmm, good question Deb! There really are no rules, so just blog it any day and tag me so I can share it. Perhaps I should add a linky to each Wednesday post so everyone can link up any posts they write?
First of all I love this line: I am not the expert, I am the experiment!
And second of all, I love this challenge and I am in :) I think I will blog it …
Kelly Exeter’s last post..How not to start a holiday 101
Hey Kelly! I’ve been thinking about making it my tag line and thought I’d try it out today. So that’s a yes from you? ;)
It would be awesome to have you along on the challenge. Thank you!
It’s a BRILLIANT tagline!!
Kelly Exeter’s last post..How not to start a holiday 101
I love this Laney, and applaud your forward thinking. I’ve never been anything but me, Denyse, however I had struggled in this world of blogging where the word Mummy is often the prefix…so, with the help and more of friends who know a bit more about ‘brands and biz’ I am Denyse, the niche Education & Schooling blogger.
In saying that, I won’t join in, but will be following…and now that I am doing my part-time consulting work (in the field as above) writing on the blog is taking specific categories, and new days on which to post.
Hope you stick around and see where I’m headed….
Denyse
Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist’s last post..Parents, Let Me Help YOU!
Thanks for dropping by Denyse. So great that you have such a defined sense of self and that it has helped your create your brand. This challenge is about just that – getting the process started.
Oh I am so in! I have lots to think about :) What a great idea – marching to our own beat…after having five boys and being married, its so easy to lose who we are. I would love to jump on board with this one – will get onto this next week – looking forward to using one of your prompts.
Cheers
Lisa
Lisa Wood’s last post..Wordless Wednesday Magic Frame
Yay – you get it! I would love to have you on board Lisa. I’ll be adding a linky to next Wednesday’s post for anyone who decides to post about any or all of the prompts from week 1.
This sounds great.. I need to do this!! Rediscover who i am without all the labels… I can’t wait to participate!
Java Jane’s last post..Wordless Wednesday – February Photo a day challenge!
I’m so pleased to hear Jane! I’m looking for a photo of ‘me before I was mum’ that I can share tomorrow.
Sounds great Laney, and so well thought out.
It also sounds like a great excuse for me to post some travel photos!
Lee’s last post..February photo a day challenge – Wordless Wednesday
Perfect for travel photos! That’s were I got most of my photos for today’s challenge from – all the travelling I did before I was a Mum :)
Oh I love love love this! How exciting! I’ll be blogging and maybe even photo sharing on facebook too. Thank-you for inspiring us all!
Ash’s last post..Wombat Will and Bilby Ben at Free Craft Sessions at Caloundra Library
Thanks for joining in Ash. There will be a linky for any blog posts you write on next Wednesday’s post. Don’t forget to tag Crash Test Mummy on any FB photos you share :)
This is a really great idea CTM!
I’ll have to keep an eye on how it goes :)
debut dad
A part of the 1% of non-mummy bloggers :P
debut dad’s last post..Daddy has PMS
Hey Debut Dad – you can join in too! Great to see a Dad on here, you are possibly one of the first to comment ;)
Great idea Laney. I always find it sad to read or speak to mums who feel they have no other identity other than being a mum. Your idea combined with Kirri’s post last week will hopefully help people realise the value they need to place on themselves as women with so much to offer and experience outside of being a mum. I will try and keep up and maybe even find a before mum photo!
Martine@themodernparent’s last post..Parenting with illness: the importance of help and support
Perfectly put Martine. There is so much support in the blogosphere, it’s great. I would love for you to share a ‘before mum’ photo ;)
what a fabulous idea….
I never know what to say when people ask me what I do… I want to say that I am a Mum… but say it in a way that makes people understand that I am proud of what I do, that we made conscious choices and decisions to allow me to stay home with my children because we believe it is important… but I’m not sure how you say that without ranting and raving like a lunatic!
katepickle’s last post..Love The Moment – Wordless Wednesday
I know exactly how you feel. We have made huge sacrifices for me to stay at home with the kids and not everyone understands. Each to their own. I just say I’m at home with the kids until they start school.
Sounds like a good experiment Laney :) I like the prompts you chose for this week!
Ai Sakura’s last post..Wordless Wednesday {linky party}: Danboard Mirror Mirror On The Wall | Week 9
I love this challenge Laney. So important to embrace who we are and not be defined by all our roles. And as mothers we are all different – we all have different beats we march to. I hope many will join in and be inspired again about who they are and how important they are. x
Deb @ Bright & Precious’s last post..All the Angels
Thanks Deb. It is something I feel quite strongly about, and yet have lost myself in motherhood regardless. There have been a few join in with some great posts. I’ll be writing a post including a linky on Wednesday.
Great idea Laney and just what I needed. Looking forward to tackling week 2.
Jackwafabwa’s last post..The disappearance of “me time” #marchownbeat
Really happy to have you participating in the challenge!
Great post Laney, have just written mine and look forward to the journey ahead with this!