For me, the answer to this question is a big resounding “No!”
For those of you who have been with me from the start you might be familiar with this passage from my About Page:
I have just been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and realised that I have woken each morning to at least one of my children every day for the last 3 years and 4 months. Every. Single. Day. All 1216 of them! And I have loved them every one of those days, but it has taken its toll. CrashHubby and I are not quite sure how that unbroken tour of duty happened, but believe me, there’s a weekend off for mummy coming up soon!
I did finally get a night away for myself, 1243 days after CrashGirl was born! It wasn’t much of a night off as I was plagued by my brother’s cats all night. You can read about it in ‘I traded in my kids and got burned’
“CrashHubby and I have never had a night away together since becoming parents”
I really don’t know how this happened. I’m yet to have another night away since. In fact, CrashHubby and I have never had a night away together since becoming parents. Life gets busy, friends and family are busy. I don’t like to impose and often just put my own needs last. Now we all know where that got me last time – major burnout. But I feel like it’s happening again.
“I just can’t relax”
It has got to the point that if I take an hour or two and get a massage or go shopping, I just can’t relax. My head is spinning with everything that needs to be done. I don’t actually know how to be on my own, truly on my own and just chill out anymore. Instead, I get anxious.
Clearly I’m not getting enough ‘me time’ because I don’t even know what it is anymore. Is that because I’m not even sure who ‘me’ is? Perhaps. We can lose ourselves in motherhood. I just hope I can be warning to you not to do the same thing. So how can we find more ‘me time’ for ourselves?
Sorry, you’re probably expecting some sage advice here. But I’m not one to give it, obviously. Instead I’ve been staring at the screen with tears streaming down my face. CrashHubby has come to the rescue and has suggested we turn our upcoming date night this Wednesday into an overnighter in the city. Excellent idea. I still feel anxious about it though. Not because I’ll be away from the kids (I’m more than happy to do that), but because what if I can’t enjoy it? Silly isn’t it?
It’s a good step though. It’s time for me to ‘get offside’ as my dear friend from Northern Ireland would say. I’m going to start looking for more opportunities to get to know myself again. Outside of the bounds of our home and my family.
To give my self some space.
Take a deep breath Laney.
Do you feel like I do?